Preview of Stage Play, G.O.D. Is Complex

I’ve taken a short break from posting to spend more time writing my second full length seriocomic play, G.O.D. Is Complex. Here is a little snippet of it. Enjoy!

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G.O.D. Is COMPLEX Preview

Character List

DOM, early twenties

GREAT OMEGA-ALPHA DIVINE, Twenty-two billion years old

Various characters of different ages and genders, such as bystanders

Setting

Modern day, American City #8
Scene 2
We transition to a street where Dom enters slowly with his head down.
Bystander 1: (Carrying laptop) I haven’t seen looting this bad since the last time we had a blackout.
Bystander 2: (Carrying a stack of clothes) I know! People up here actin’ up like it’s the end of the world.
Bystander 3: (runs onstage) Foreshadowing! (Pause) Has anyone seen my dog, foreshadowing?
Bystander 1: (Looks around) Sorry, I’m not seeing foreshadowing anywhere.
Bystander 2: Don’t worry baby, I’m sure foreshadowing will show up later.
Bystander 3: You’re sure?
Bystander 2: Positive.
Bystander 3: (Nods and jogs off)
Dom: (Sighs and slumps down against the wall)
GREAT OMEGA DIVINE enters. As stated before, the character can be portrayed by an actor of any gender, race or height. Great notices Dom
Great: Groovy!
Dom: (Looks around) What? Oh, do you mean me?
Great: Yeah!
Dom: What’s so “groovy” about me?
Great: Well, everyone here is moving around, all spazzy, but you’re here all chill and stuff. Like a solid rock in an ocean of chaos or something.
Bystander 3: (Runs on) Foreshadowing! (Exits)
Dom: Well, I’m only sitting here because…I messed up.
Great: Wanna talk about it, man?
Dom: (Looking at audience, annoyed) Sure. (Back to Great) I was supposed to…ahem, appropriate a fossil from an…orphanage for my girlfriend, but I didn’t get there in time before someone else…lifted it. Guess I was really 25 million years late.
Great: About 66 million if we’re talking the cretaceous period.
Dom: Okay, archeology major. Point is, without that fossil, my relationship will fail, and then it will affect my job, and then I’ll lose that too.
Great: What do you do for a living?
Dom: I…(continues to talk, but mouths the words, not actually saying things aloud)
Extra 2: (carrying tv) And that’s how you establish a running joke.
Extra 1: Repetition? That’s pretty easy. (Exits)
Great: Your job sounds kind of difficult.
Dom: Right?
Great: I think my job is just as hard, though.
Dom: What do you do?
Great: Create universes. (Beat)
Dom: How do you do that exactly?
Great: It’s pretty rough, man. You totally have to make a design in your head of how far you want planets to be away from the sun, and make up moons and don’t even get me started on views of the constellations.
Dom: You uh, actually sound like you believe this…
Great: Oh, I’m not done yet, man. The most difficult part of creating universes is that you almost never get to see the results of your work. This is the first time I’ve found life that looks like me in one of my creations!
Dom: Wait a minute, are you trying to say…you created earth?
Great: Is that what you guys are calling it? If that’s the case, yeah, I was all about that.
Dom: (Standing) Okay, I’m gonna go now.
Great: I’m sensing a lack of faith here.
Dom: Uh, maybe because it’s crazy! No one person could create a planet.
Great: Universes, man. And I’m not a person, I’m a celestial being. My name is Great Omega hyphen Alpha Divine.
Dom: So your initials spell GOAD?
Great: Well, yeah, if you add in the hyphen. The other beings just call me…(dramatic pause) …Great for short.
Dom: So (air quotes) “Great”, if you made the earth and all, perhaps you can tell me what was the foundation for the continuation and evolution of life if you weren’t around?
Great: You know…I can’t quite remember. Was this the planet where I left one being in charge? Was it a whole bunch of em? Or maybe it was cells…sorry, I can’t remember. It changes every time.
Dom: Uh-huh. I’m sure it does. Again, really nice talking to you. I’m going to be on my way to…find some other fossil, I guess. (Starts to walk away)
Great: Wait a second! (Running to Dom)
Dom: Please don’t touch me.
Great: I will not touch you unless you want me to and then I will.
Dom: No thank you.
Great: (Blocks dom by stretching arms out wide) Can you listen? I have a feeling you’re not very good at it.
Dom: (Aside) Like I need two girlfriends. (Turns back to Great) What is it you want, money?
Great: What’s that?
Dom: The root all evil, benjamins, the evil oil that fuels our reality shows? Never heard of it?
Great: No! I haven’t heard anything about this earth. That’s why I need someone like you to show me around and explain what’s going on.
Dom: And what would be in it for me? (Quick) Besides touching me.
Great: I could…get you that fossil you were looking for.
Dom: (Sighs) How would you even do that?
Great: With this! (Great reaches into his/her pocket and pulls out a TI-89 Graphing Calcuator TM)
Dom: A calculator?
Great: (Laughs) What a strange name for the miracle machine.
Dom: Miracle machine?
Great: Are you going to keep asking questions or are you just going to listen?
Dom: Questions?
Great: With this miracle machine, I can work with the laws of probability, measured space and possibility to make Great things happen! If I put in a random equation like so…(types into calculator), then a random miracle will occur.
Dom: Through math?
Great: Basically.
Dom: Math. Okay, that’s my cue to go. (Goes to leave)
Great: Oops, I didn’t hit enter. (presses button)
Extra 3: FORESHADOWING! (Enters, holding small dog, or stuffed dog animal, whichever is easier to acquire for said production) It was about time you caught up to me. Now, let’s go get you neutered. (Exits)
Great extends arms and smiles. Dom is unconvinced.
Dom: So he found his foreshadowing. That’s easy if you wait long enough. Hardly a miracle.
Great: Well, how about a more complex equation? (Types into calculator) And…enter!

End Preview

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#CoffinSelfie-A Simple How-To Guide

(Disclaimer: The above hashtag is meant to be hypothetical. This is not referring to the SCANDAL picture that was trending on twitter. From what I hear, it’s a fantastic show. Moving on.)

I have a quick google search for you to perform. Type in funeral selfies. Oh, you don’t want to sift through 10,000,000+ results? Here’s a few highlights:

There's no real place to start when talking about what's bad about this.

There’s no real place to start when talking about what’s bad about this.

I'm not so sure he was unaware of this...

I’m not so sure he was unaware of this…

Even though it was a memorial service, it's still inappropriate. Thanks, Obama!

Even though it was a memorial service, it’s still inappropriate. Thanks, Obama!

Point is, #funeralselfie is gonna be played out soon. If you’re going to stand out from all of those other guys, you’ll need something unique. #CoffinSelfie hasn’t been populated yet, but you could be one of the pioneers.

“But how would I manage that? Who will pay my cellphone bill after I go?” You ask. Well, hypothetical reader, the bill is paid until the end of the month. So you have enough time. But the better question to ask is how do you condition yourself so that you’re able to take a selfie at your own wake? And even better, how do you guarantee that lots of people will see it? Well, allow me to guide you.

Here are the four phases that lead to you kicking off the #CoffinSelfie.

Accessibility

The first key to this is lots of lots of practice. If you were born in the early 90’s, then you’ve only had a few years of your life to sharpen that selfie game ‘til it’s perfect. This is where the younger generation will have an edge on you. Most of them will get their hands on a cell phone before you can stop calling them “tweens”. They’ll have plenty of years on you! (Ironically)

But technology is also to blame. Innovations like the front facing camera have made the art of selfie easier than ever. Now you they don’t even have to shoot and hope like the cameraphone days, there is a clear HD display reflecting their exact image. Not to mention flash capabilities, camera filters, cropping…ugh, they know so much.
And to top it all off, they have consistent access to internet from a young age. Do they even have to go through many steps? Nope! There are instant share options for every app that are built right into the camera software. All in all, kids will have you beat on accessibility. But don’t feel too bad. You’re still older.

Approval
Now that you’re well versed in hashtag language, you’re going to need to get a following going. The easiest way to do this is to jump on the bandwagon of the latest trend. It’s easy. Check out what’s trending on twitter and copy that. And don’t say something silly like, “Why can’t I just invent something new?” Ridiculous! You think planking started by being original? Get real. Stick to the norm and suppress your creative impulses.

Once you’re done with your #nofilter #gallonsmashing #runningforcongress selfie trends, you will have gathered a huge following behind you. Believe or not, you’re halfway there!

Assaulting the Internet With Your Selfies

This is what separates the Gen Y’ers from the Gen Whiners! (Thank you, I’m here all week). You must continuously post selfies. Non-stop. No, you can’t take a break. Wake up? That’s a selfie. About to go to bed? That’s a selfie. Dunkin donuts mess up your order? Well, that’s just a sadface coffee selfie, isn’t it? Selfie, Selfie, Selfie, Selfie, Selfie, Selfie. You cannot stop, you must be relentless.

This is important: Don’t waste any time instagramming food. The people who are consistently on their phones looking at twitter or scrolling through facebook are a completely different breed from you.

Those people are simply using the phone as a barrier between themselves and reality. They are unsure how to interact with one other without a constant distraction present. The reasons for this are numerous, but I think it comes down to fear.

On the internet, you have plenty of time to say what you want. If you write or post something stupid, you can take it write back. (That’s why their are never spelling ererrs in my postss.) In real life, although the stakes are exactly the same for a misstep or a gaff as they would be in the internet, and that people can take what you say wildly out of context easier on the internet if you just leave it and walk away, it’s still more nervewracking to take the risk and communicate. So since we can’t use it to communicate with the person sitting across from us, we use it as a shield instead. That way, if asked a difficult question all we need to do is look down at a phone and pretend to text while we form the right response.

Whoa, but I am getting off track! Point is: you are nothing like those posers who are taking instagram posts. You’re in touch with your self(ie). So keep taking those countless selfies! Do it for years and years and years and years until…

Achievement

The average life expectancy is about 80.1. A recent study found that on average, children are 12.1 when they receive their first mobile device. So your younger contemporaries will again have the edge here: they’ll have, on average, 68 years to practice. But I believe in you! After all, you accessed the selfie game easily, gained the approval of many on your friends list, and have assaulted the internet with your presence. Your loud demand to be noticed will not go unnoticed!

Since you have spent about 50 years taking selfies constantly, your body is conditioned to do it unconsciously. You should notice that you’ll wake up with a bunch of selfies your body took reflexively. (Good for #sleeping selfies!) Of course, if you’re not sleeping because using smart phones before bed has been recorded to make it harder to fall asleep, then you should still be taking photos reflexively in the bathroom, in the car, and at that parole hearing of yours. After these 50 years, you never have to think when you’re taking a selfie again!

Now that you’ve achieved all of this, sit back (or rather lie back, amiright?) in your coffin and you’ll take the photo automatically…

Wait a minute.

They sell coffins at coffin stores right? Why don’t you just climb into one of those while you’re alive to get your selfie? It will save you a lot of time, energy and cloud storage space. Plus, you don’t have constantly show your friends what is essentially the same image every day. It would be the equivalent of showing them Pitch Perfect every day. It’s great, but after a while, it’s just gonna get weird and maybe even…annoying. Haha, impossible. Pitch Perfect could never get annoying amirite?

Reader, I hope you got through all of the guide before embarking on a 50 year quest to capture your #coffinselfie. If you already have, I admire your dedication, but some people may have beaten you to the punch. (The younger generation. Again.)

And if you’re reading this in the future, I hope that selfies don’t die out before you do. We need selfies. Without them, how would you know if you were here on earth at all?

(Re-post) We’re Not There Yet. Reflections on a Little Girl Named Rue

(The following article was written back in 2012 for a campus newspaper.)

I couldn’t believe my eyes.

About an hour ago, I was procrastinating, checking facebook, and I happened to notice an article about “Racist Hunger Games Fans being Disappointed.” I immediately stopped what I was doing and opened up the link. As I read on, I only become more angry and disheartened.

To give a little background, the Hunger Games is a series of books about children being forced to fight to the death. In one part of the book a young girl, 12 years old, dies in the arena. Katniss, the main character, disgregards all rules and stops to bury her. Her death is one of the saddest parts of the entire series, and one of the most moving pieces of literature I’ve read in a while. When I saw it on screen, it was even more polarizing and hearbreaking. It was perfect. In my mind, nothing could ruin this scene. And then I saw this:

hungergamws

I couldn’t believe my eyes..and he wasn’t the only one who felt that way.

People that live in this country came out and said that a 12-year-olds death in a movie wasn’t as sad because she was black. I cannot process that sentence. There is no sense in it. I didn’t care for the counterargument “i didn’t picture Rue as black” or “that’s not how I saw Rue”. All I could see was a wall of ignorance and bias. It was one of the most sickening things I have ever seen.

I have to highlight these sentiments towards Rue because of recent events. A few weeks ago, Trayvon Martin, a 17-year old black male, was wearing a hoodie and carrying skittles when he was shot and killed in broad daylight. The man who shot him claimed he looked suspicious so that was enough of a reason. His ignorance and bias disgusts the nation.

I make similarities between these events, but don’t want to portray the wrong idea. I’m not saying that everyone who thought Rue should’ve been white is going to go out and shoot suspicious looking people. Nor am I saying that the man who shot Trayvon Martin did so out of bias he learned in the media. What I am saying is that when these two events occur within only weeks of each other, that when it comes to race relations in this country:

We are not there yet.

There is still work to do, and these events highlight the fact. The younger generation is more liberal, more open, but if we are going to change the climate in this country, it starts with paying attention to ignorance. It may start with a misunderstanding in the street, or a twitter post. Either way we must counter ignorance with spreading knowledge. The knowledge that these things have happened and that we should try and make a world where they won’t happen again.

I speak not only for blacks, but for Puerto Ricans, Jamaicans and people from Queens. I extend this message to all races and backgrounds. Fight ignorance and spread knowledge. Then we become one step closer to never seeing articles like these again.

Last thoughts. When I first read the hunger games books, I thought of my little sister. She’s 13 now, but 11 when I read the books. My sister acts, and maybe even could have been cast in the role. The thought of no one crying for her…I can’t process that.

So if you can, please take some time to learn about Trayvon Martin. Send messages of support and love to Amanda Stenburg for an amazing performance. And remember a little girl named Rue, surrounded by flowers and sung to softly as she lay dying…not what the color of her skin was.

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A.W.E.S.O.M.E. T.V. #1- Luther

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Hello everyone! I’m kicking off a new segment of my blog! As you can guess, the title is an acronym that stands for: Ahhhhh, want entertainment similar! Only my entertainment to view!

What does the above tell you besides the fact that I really wanted to make AWESOME TV an acronym? Well, I am constantly hearing people around me bemoaning that “OMG, there’s like nothing to watch anymore since (Insert seasonal show) ended!” These people, more often than not have a netflix account, or a basic grasp on how to pirate shows. But they are often reluctant to try something new until a friends’ reccomendation.

Let me be that friend.

I will break down a show in six ways:

1. Shows it’s similar to

2. Premise

3. What Makes It Different from that last thing you watched

4. Length

5. 6 Rapid fire reasons why it’s freakin’ awesome

6. Where to Find It

If those can’t get you to watch the show, then most likely it’s not for you. But if you find yourself even liking at least two criteria, then there’s no harm in giving it a shot. Without further ado, let’s dive in to this Awesome TV review of…Luther!

Luther

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1. TV Shows it’s Similar to

House, Law and Order SVU, Dexter, CSI (Any of them really)

2. Premise

Luther follows Detective of Criminal Investigation John Luther as he tries to catch serial killers on the loose in London. Since he isn’t terribly fond of guns, he arms himself with strong powers of observation, knowledge of psychology and fists. ‘Cause Luther is played by Idris Elba and he is huge. Huge.

3. What Makes It Different than the last thing you watched

I know what you might be thinking, “Ughh, another one of those detective on the edge shows. I bet he doesn’t play by the rules!” And you’re completely right. And very sarcastic. But what sets this show apart is its commitment to plot lines. The first episode kicks off with Luther chasing a serial killer. When the killer ends up in a compromising position in a high place, Luther has a choice to let him fall or save him…

The rest of the season focuses on the consequences of his decision. And this is not unique to season 1. Each season has a main plot that is advanced while Luther confronts heinous serial killers in each episode. With a small cast, the focus is entirely on Luther’s main life and how others around him are affected by his choices.

The supporting cast is also fantastic. We are often introduced to the serial killers, so there’s not much mystery of who’s behind it. There’s also an extended focus on psychology, as we see every point of view in a case: the victims, the killer’s and Luther’s. Yes, shows like CSI and House can boast similar benefits, but often those shows are more about the mystery. Luther is all about stopping the killer…no matter what it takes.

4. Length

There are three seasons…and they are all very short (by American standards). The first season is six episodes while the 2nd and 3rd are both 4 episodes each. This adds up to about 14 hours of tightly connected drama. Whether you’re busy or a binge watcher, this is an ideal series.

5. Rapid Fire Awesome Things

+Unpredictable episode endings

+FAN-FREAKIN-TASTIC ACTING for everyone

+Idris Elba is simultaneously sympathetic, terrifying and funny

+Strong seasonal plots

+Very Intelligent

+English Accents

6. Where to find it

It’s available in its entirety on Netflix. It’s also on dvd for really, really great prices on amazon and at walmart. Plus, a movie is in the works, so soon in the theaters. You can find it everywhere. It’s probably behind you right now.

So there you have it. If you’re looking for a new intelligent drama that won’t suck up too much of your time, stop looking and give Luther his due.

If you have any shows that you’ve finished and want something new, or if you have a suggestion for a genre for next time, comment below. Thanks for reading, and have an awesome day.