I’m Black and I’m…Quiet?

It’s weird…I didn’t see any police being attacked by Beyonce albums today. Could this be because Beyonce’s halftime show was not just about inciting violence against police officers?

No, that’s crazy.

Beyonce’s halftime show was big and energetic, with crazy costumes and gravity itself tripping on Beyonce’s dance moves.  But it was the theme of her halftime show that was the most talked about. The outfits that paid homage to the black panther movement. The word negro sung repeatedly in front of a stadium full of people. And the main song of her act, “Formation” connected to a music video that depicts a New Orleans cop car underwater. Many critics put the pieces together and drew their own conclusions.

Since I believe in the freedom of speech, I’m highlighting my favorite comments, and adding my own commentary:

From Former Mayor Giuliani,

“I thought it was really outrageous that she used it as a platform to attack police officers who are the people who protect her and protect us, and keep us alive,” – Giuliani

(Because Negro is a secret code word for attack, obviously)

To Facebook commenters:
“Rise above and stay above the strife. For a girl who grew up in a privileged, wealthy family, she has no business pandering to those who didn’t.”-facebook commenter

(If you have money, you can’t comment on society. That’s just how it goes.)

And as of now, there’s even  petition to ban Beyonce from performing:

In Beyonce’s newest music video which was just released, she is shown drowning a police car. Her video is disgraceful. Why should she be able to perform on the same field as the great men of the New York Mets?

(The first thing I think of when I see A New Orleans cop car underwater is Hurricane Katrina for some reason. But I can see why you would confuse that with drowning.

P.S. And I’m a huge Mets fan from Queens but I’ve never heard anyone refer to them as great men. Thanks!)

 

Overall, I love that this is such a big topic. Because every article, good or bad, about Beyonce’s performance has the potential to bring more attention to issues affecting the black community. But the thing is-none of the above critiques were ABOUT her performance-just the content of the performance. Which is troubling. If kids of any race, creed, or orientation are seeing that an international celeb is being criticized and potentially boycotting for trying to make a statement, they may become more fearful of expressing their own strong opinions. What’s the point if people are going to shut it out?

Fortunately, I have no doubt Beyonce will take this all in stride. She’s Beyonce. But it bothers me tonight. Will I get attacked for making a Facebook status about blacklivesmatter? Could a tweet about the black panthers get a police officer angry at me?Will this article get me banned from my local Trader Joe’s? The fact is: at the end of the day, I”m going to say what’s really on my mind.

If I’m quiet…who’s going to make jokes about the Mets?

(And commentary about blacks in society.)

 

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Throwback Tuesday: Changes from ’05-’15

A few days ago, Avatar the Last Airbender celebrated its 10th birthday! And I didn’t even get it anything nice.

airbn

Except making six friends watch the entire series.

That got me thinking, what other things have changed since 2005? Turn on Feel Good Inc. and throw on a tweed jacket as we travel back to ’05!

THEN AND NOW 2005>2015

                                                Video Streaming

Then: YouTube , is launched in the United States.

Now: YouTube is the reason I don’t also pay Time Warner for cable.

The Pope

Then: The beloved Pope John Paul II passes away. Pope Benedict would take over for him that year.

Now: After Pope Benedict resigned, Pope Francis took up the mantle of pope. He is quickly stacking up to become a beloved Pope himself. The pope is known to be humble, accepting of different types of people and a generous man.

  Cruise

Then: Tom Cruise ‘Jumped The Couch” on Oprah while expressing how much he loved Katie Holmes.

Now: Tom Cruise is still jumping off of stuff…just usually on movie sets. Katie Holmes gets to appear on a lot less magazine covers.

                     Same-Sex Marriage

Then: Oregon announced a county would begin granting licenses for same-sex marriages. The Oregon Supreme Court nullified nearly 3,000 marriage licenses issued to same-sex couples.

Now: Over 30 states allow people of the same sex to be married. Issues with the LGBT community are being talked about more. Even the President of the United States is openly in support of the right to marry…and applauded a certain Avatar-based-cartoon that had two prominent lesbian characters.

                                                                Bike Racing

Then: Lance Armstrong wins a record seventh straight Tours de France before his scheduled retirement

Lance Armstrong probably wishes he retired a long, long, time ago.

                              Comedy

Then: Jul 15th – “Wedding Crashers”, starring Owen Wilson and Vince Vaughn, premieres

Now: I determine who is most likely to get a kidney out of my friends by how many quotes they can name from Wedding Crashers. Also, Bradley Cooper’s doing a lot better than Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson combined.

Stephen Colbert

Then: Oct 17th The Colbert Report first airs.

Now: :/

What We Watch

Then:

  1. American Idol (Fox)
    CSI (CBS)
    3. Desperate Housewives (ABC)
    4. Grey’s Anatomy (ABC)
    5. Without a Trace (CBS)
    6. Dancing With the Stars (ABC)
    7. Survivor: Guatemala (CBS)
    8. CSI: Miami (CBS)
    9. House (Fox)
    10. Survivor: Panama (CBS)

Now

Empire  FOX

Gold Rush  DSC

Scandal BET

Grimm  TNT

Suits USA

The Bachelor  ABC

The Walking Dead

Better Call Saul AMC

Chicago Fire  NBC

Arrow  CW

What We Attempt To Sing-Along To

Then: We Belong Together
Now:Uptown Funk!

Jared Leto Isn’t the Joker, Alfred Is.

So I saw this comic the other day.

al

It’s one of my favorite “what if?” panels. But after a little extra pre-Christmas eggnog, I started really considering it. Could the Greatest Detective’s Greatest Enemy be the Greatest Butler? And if so, what motivates him?

I’m so glad you asked.

Here are a few theories as to why Alfred would put on the clown makeup, and how it will be possible to pull one over on the Great Detective. And because I expect that there will be some counterarguments, I shall counter them before you can raise your responses! (It’s what Batman would do)

  1. To Test, but not kill him

We think that Joker never kills Batman purely because of his character. He is chaos while batman is order. If the Joker were to kill the batman, he would become (more) unbalanced and lose his zest to antagonize Gotham. But the reason could be a lot, lot simpler than that. This theory is taken straight from the comic above. Alfred mainly wanted to enhance Batman’s skills for his arguably less deranged enemies. But he also wanted to make Batman doubt himself, in the vain hope that he’ll hang up his cape when pushed too far. So he takes Batman to his absolute limits, but truly wants to increase his strength and fortitude.

  1. Alfred Is Giving Batman Therapy

Consider what Batman’s psyche is like. This is a man who discarded his childhood and sacrifices his impulses to serve a higher purpose. Joker, on the other hand, is a clown. Literally. He is (supposedly) a man who embraces childish whims and indulges his selfish desires-and brings everyone down around him in the process. The simple presence of the Joker is to remind Batman of what he’s lost. A sense of whimsical joy in what life can bring. Freedom from society’s demands. Laughter.

It’s theorized in certain versions of the comics that Bruce Wayne was never allowed to receive therapy. After Bruce starts Batmanning, Alfred realizes that therapy would come far too late anyway. So the only way left is to (literally) beat some sense in to the Bat. And if the Killing Joke is any proof, Alfred, ahem, I mean, the Joker does make batman laugh.

  1. Joker’s Origins are Impossible to Find

Here’s the big dispute. Where did the clown prince of crime come from? Was he a guy pushed into a vat of acid? Was he a soldier of fortune? D. None of the above! Those were all random stories. This is a classic villain technique. You tell exaggerated stories of where you came from so that you get more street cred or fear around your name. All Alfred had to do was slip a few criminals a c-note or two to start talking about the Joker’s past. And it would explain how even the Batman can’t trace his foe’s history.

Now for the Counterarguments:

But the Joker is insane! Alfred has it completely together.

I never said Alfred wasn’t crazy.

Bruce Wayne fools dozens of people with the Wayne act every day. Who says that Alfred isn’t doing the same? I think that Alfred loses it after seeing Batman in the cowl for the first time. He’s isn’t scared of the costume, he’s scared that Bruce might never emerge from it again. His desperate urge to protect The Batman split him into this Joker personality…and a man obsessed with his ward. And I do mean obsessed. After the first Robin left, Alfred had a chance to be alone with the bat again…until Jason Todd comes along. To get Bruce to himself, Alfred nearly kills the second robin. Regretting it, he doesn’t attack any of Batman’s adopted wards again…until Batgirl. And so on and so forth. In short: Alfred’s insanity translates to Bruce’s protection.

But the Joker was (at this place) while Alfred was (at this place)! How could he possibly pull it off?

Multiple Jokers. Like I mentioned above, Alfred could conceivably expand the Joker mythos by paying several people to talk about his story. What if he paid people to play the joker? Or had a rotating set? It could go down like this:

Alfred: Bob, you will need to be the Joker this weekend?

Bob: Why me?

Alfred: Master Bruce and I are going on vacation to Hawaii.

Jimmy: I could cover this weekend if…

Bob: Yes?

Jimmy: Front row seats to the Lakers game?

Bob: Are you serious?

Jimmy: Take it or leave it.

Alfred: Would now be a bad time to mention that the Joker is going to attack a few basketball teams this week…?

Multiple jokers would also explain how the Joker gets into situations where everyone is certain he is dead yet always pulls through at the last moment. Where does this Joker supply come from? Crazy people, of course! Alfred screens them, trains them and then maybe even hypnotizes each of them into believing that they are the true Joker. Then they’ll either rotate, die or be snapped out of a hypnotic trance and benched until they are needed again. This would ensure that Batman would never have to be without his nemesis.

But…no!

But…maybe!

There you have it. Concrete proof that Alfred is the clown prince of crime. If you don’t believe it, that’s completely fine. But isn’t it fun to think about?